Lights in homes, buildings and famous landmarks will be turned off for an hour on Saturday to mark WWF's annual event
Manager questions the mentality of some of his players
But Chelsea remain top after Manchester City draw at Arsenal
José Mourinho has written off Chelsea's chances of regaining the Premier League title and publicly questioned his players' attitude and "mentality" after his side slipped to defeat at Crystal Palace.
Ceremonies take place across England and Wales as couples take advantage of the first day of a new law that permits same-sex marriage. The prime minister, David Cameron, has hailed the change as sending a powerful message about equality in Britain
Tony Hall's arts programme proposals are aimed at a middle-class, middle-aged audience. We may as well still be in 1969
What is Civilisation? Within the last week, the question must have been asked more often than at any time in human history, or certainly by people still unborn 45 years ago, when the great arts programme went out. What is Civilisation? Why are people still going on about it? And why in God's name is the BBC's Lord Hall of Birkenhead so keen to bring it back ?
As so often, YouTube, undreamt of in 1969 when Kenneth Clark's last and strikingly pessimistic programme was broadcast, provides some clues to the world view that Hall finds so compelling. Confessing himself, after his protracted tour of Europe's glories, a "stick in the mud", Clark adds in his book of the series: "One must concede that the future of civilisation does not look very bright." One must concede? The line is characteristic of a "personal view" that, the formidably pained Clark does not trouble to conceal, should rightly be shared by everyone who had watched his 13 beautifully illustrated lectures. "The trouble is," he laments imagine Prince Charles with a brain "that there is still no centre."
Even as bestselling author Michael Lewis warns against it, the City is abuzz with new ways to trade faster and make more money
So then, to our ever-widening financial lexicon, a language forced upon us by catastrophe rather than from a desire to broaden our knowledge, we will soon be adding the initials HFT.
Moving beyond such legacy phrases as collateralised debt obligations, default option swaps and off-balance sheet reporting, all so quaint, so pre-Lehman Brothers, HFT or high-frequency trading is coming to a dinner party near you. It's the big new buzz in the City and, as you struggle to get your head around what it means to you and your mortgage or pension, you can be assured of three things. First, that it's complicated. Second, a small number of people are making a lot of money from it. And third, it will all end in tears.
Reader's Digest is alleged to have censored stories in its publication to maintain a cheap publishing deal in China
The notion that the formerly mighty American publisher Reader's Digest would allow the Chinese Communist party to censor its novels would once have appeared so outrageous as to be unimaginable. In the globalised world, what was once unimaginable is becoming commonplace, however. The Australian novelist LA (Louisa) Larkin has learned the hard way that old certainties no longer apply as the globalisation of trade leads to the globalisation of authoritarian power.
The fate of her book is more than a lesson in modern cynicism. It is the most resonant example of collaboration between the old enemies of communism and capitalism I have encountered.
Nobel laureate was told by publisher that 'people will shudder and be puzzled and confused' by reading Echo's Bones
A previously unpublished story by Samuel Beckett will go on sale in bookshops for the first time, 80 years after his publisher rejected it as a nightmare read that gave him "the jim-jams".
The enigmatic story, entitled Echo's Bones, was originally commissioned as a final story for More Pricks Than Kicks, his collection of inter-related stories published in 1934. But his publisher at the time, Charles Prentice at Chatto & Windus, turned down the tale for being far too difficult and strange. Prentice broke the news to Beckett in a blunt letter: "It is a nightmare It gives me the jim-jams Echo's Bones would, I am sure, lose the book a great many readers. People will shudder and be puzzled and confused; and they won't be keen on analysing the shudder." He added: "I hate having to say this."
The 39-year-old jockey on his 4,000 winners, why he hates dirty shoes and the secret to successful dieting
You need fear and doubt to drive you on. Without it, you end up living in the past and being happy with what you have achieved. I've had more than 4,000 winners, but I always want more. If I could have a go at the last 20 years again, I would. I genuinely think I could have done better.
Horses are like people they have different personalities. They can be nice, friendly and hard-working, or awkward, difficult and lazy. If horses were people some would be on the dole and others would be entrepreneurs.
We travel to Merseyside to meet Josh Leary, the in-demand producer who may yet return to the classroom
Evian Christ is late to pick me up from the station because he's been taking trees from his mate's garden to the dump. I'm in Ellesmere Port, his Merseyside home town: industrial chimneys loom in the background, grey smoke tumbling out of them like lava from a volcano. As he finally pulls up in his red Volkswagen, a girl who's dodged the train fare is attempting to run away from a police officer.
"The glamorous life of a producer, eh?" he quips, as we speed off to a nearby retail park and settle down in Starbucks "the place that brought wi-fi to Ellesmere Port". He knows this is the last place you'd expect to find one of 2014's most-hyped new electronic beatsmiths, one with a credit on Kanye West's Yeezus to his name. But it's where he's grown up for the past 24 years. Here, he's known simply as Josh Leary, a regular guy in jogging bottoms, sports jacket and delicate silver chain.
On March 30, 1939, Batman first appeared in Detective Comics No.27. To mark 75 years of the Caped Crusader, here are some of his greatest pop culture appearances
Thousands of examples of medieval graffiti have been found to survive in more than 65% of East Anglia's old churches everything from prayers and ships to architectural plans, demons and ritual protection marks
Striking discovery in a Suffolk church reawakens interest in the once-revered prolific writer and 14th-century monk
Chancellor and deputy respond to minister's claim that UK would have to form currency union to ensure economic stability
George Osborne and Danny Alexander have tried to quash any suggestion that the UK would agree to form a currency union with an independent Scotland after a minister privately conceded that one would have to be formed to ensure financial and economic stability.
The chancellor and his Liberal Democrat deputy issued a joint statement to say that a currency union would fail because it would not be in the interests of an independent Scotland or the remainder of the UK.
61 min: Fellaini plants an elbow across the bridge of Vlaar's nose. This wasn't as malicious as that nonsense with Manchester City's Pablo Zabaleta on Tuesday night, but it was clumsy and worthy of a yellow. He really has to tidy himself up when making these aerial challenges.
59 min: Old Trafford responds to that goal in a high-volume fashion. Villa aren't of a mind to give this up yet, though. A sortie down the right comes to nothing, then Benteke battles for a long ball down the inside left, only to bundle out for a goal kick. This match would get interesting if Villa snatch a goal back.
Mata, down the inside-right channel, strokes a diagonal ball towards the other flank, where Fellaini is breaking into the box. Vlaar is forced to hook out on the left. From the throw, Buttner heads down the inside-left channel towards Fellaini, again in the area. There's a mild kerfuffle, and then the ball breaks to Mata, who sweeps a low shot into the bottom left past the flat-footed Guzan. Villa should be level, and suddenly United have a two-goal cushion.
55 min: Weimann shaped to shoot, bombing down the inside right, only to connect face with turf instead of boot to ball. Fellaini was hovering behind him in a very suspicious fashion, but Villa don't get their free kick.
53 min: Villa are pressing United back, though. Paul Lambert will have pointed out to his team that they were certainly not second best in the first half, even if the scoreline suggested otherwise, and they've responded with confidence. Albrighton wins a little space down the right and whips a stunning cross onto the head of Benteke, six yards out. And the striker misses another golden chance! He slaps his header over the bar from close range. On the touchline, Lambert is down on his haunches, staring at the ground, thoughts flying through his head that would be best described as Glaswegian.
50 min: WHAT A MISS! Westwood, on the left-hand edge of the United box, chips a fantastic ball into the centre, splitting the home defence into a million pieces. Benteke, chesting down, is free, six yards from goal with only de Gea to beat. He swings his left peg at the ball - and takes a wild fresh-air swipe. Oh dear. He attempts to blast a second attempt goalwards, but Carrick is now in the environs, and hoicks out for a corner. From which nothing occurs. Villa should be level. That's an appalling miss from a highly talented player. They're always the worst, aren't they?
49 min: A lull already! Dear me. At least it gives us the chance to plug our gallery of pretty pictures from this here match.
47 min: United on the front foot in the early exchanges, though not to any great effect, Young and Kagawa's move down the right petering out quietly enough. "It's my birthday, but I won't reveal how old I am," chirps Mac Millings, 67. "And what better way to ring in another year spent among this embarrassment we call Humanity than by following the MBM while not watching the Big Match? Always the multitasker, I'm also taking care of my 2 year old, who spent the night puking on me and her mother. As if Mrs. Millings's indignity at sharing a bed with me wasn't enough. Moyes in, by the way - my opinion is as invalid as anyone else's."
And we're off again! Villa will wonder how they lost that half of football, having looked lively in attack down both flanks. The final ball was perhaps lacking: David de Gea didn't have a lot to do, other than pick the ball from his net after Westwood's free kick. It shouldn't take too much of a twist of the proverbial spanner to get things working for them, as Westwood, Albrighton, Agbonlahor and Benteke have all looked in the mood. United have made a change, though: Carrick has come on for Rafael, which should see Carrick taking Jones's position, and the centre back moving to right back.
Half-time advertisement:
Mata was in the process of
taking a fresh-air swipe
at the ball
failing to execute a dragback when he was cleaned out by Bacuna, so he'll be quite happy with the way that panned out. And that's pretty much that for the opening 45. Fairly eventful, no? And that was just the action on the ground.
Rooney nearly takes the net off the frame of the goal, his spot kick belted home at a fierce velocity, very much troubling the side netting on the right. Guzan went the right way, but had no chance: a better penalty you'll wait a while to see.
44 min: PENALTY TO UNITED! Kagawa plays a diagonal ball into the area from the right. Mata, coming in from the other wing, is about to latch onto the ball and shoot from ten yards when Bacuna slides in from the right and upends him! It's as clear a penalty kick as you'll see, and probably should be a sending off as well. But it's only a yellow.
43 min: Westwood wins the ball in the centre circle with a crunching tackle on Kagawa. He sprays a long ball down the left channel for Benteke, who brushes Vidic out of the way but can't get a shot off.
41 min: Kagawa and Mata continue to combine well. They triangulate down the left, Kagawa eventually making it into the area. He's about to shoot when the impressive Clark, anticipating brilliantly, steps in to blooter clear. "When that plane flew past, did BT Sport show 23 pointless slow-motion replays of it in close up, as if to make a non-event seem dramatic?" wonders Stuart Goodacre. "They do for everything that happens on the pitch."
38 min: Villa ping the ball around awhile, and eventually Albrighton wins a corner off Vidic down the right. United don't deal with the set piece particularly well, the ball floating through the six-yard box near to Benteke's eyebrows and away to the left wing, where Fellaini allows Vlaar (!) to turn him this way and that. The resulting cross is half-cleared, allowing Delph the time to lift another ball into the box from the right. But this one's overcooked, and the danger is gone. United are impressive up front, but very uncertain at the back.
35 min: A lull. Which allows us to furnish you with a bit of extra information regarding Old Trafford's response to this bloody plane (pictured below, looking much as expected) here.
33 min: Mata floats a delightful looping pass down the inside-right channel. He's this close to finding Kagawa, rushing into the area. But Guzan reads the danger well, and is off his line in the sprightly fashion to claim the ball. Great play all round. Mata has been pretty stodgy since his arrival from Chelsea, but he's looking on his game today. As is Kagawa. United's forward play has been pretty impressive so far.
30 min: Albrighton, bombing down the inside right, is allowed to make his way across the face of the United box, then down the inside left to the byline, before chipping to the far post where Weimann can't retain possession. That was a magnificent dribble, though it should also be noted that the red carpet was rolled out: Fellaini's attempt to dispossess him was limp as you like.
27 min: Kagawa is flipped into the air down the left. Free kick, ten yards from the byline. Rooney whips it into the Villa six-yard box, and Vidic is ready to slam a header home when Clark gets involved and guides it over the bar instead. Infuriatingly for United, they don't even get the corner, the referee deciding incorrectly that Vidic had got the last touch.
25 min: A really open feel to this game. Villa don't appear to have lost the faith after being pegged back, with Benteke, Agbonlahor and Westwood making nuisances of themselves up front, and Rooney, Kagawa and Mata seeing plenty of the ball down the other end. "A low for football?" begins Matt Dony in response to the entry on 2 mins. "Yes, certainly. A low for MBM entries, though? I'm not so sure. It's up against some strong competition."
22 min: Rooney looks to take a snapshot from the edge of the Villa box, but Clark gets in the way. Meanwhile, by all accounts, the much-rumoured second plane turned out to be trailing an advert for a certain bookmaking firm whose adverts over the past couple of years have ranged from the astonishingly unfunny to the tediously offensive. They're after some free publicity for their 6-1 offer on Alex Ferguson coming back. Suffice to say, if you want to place that bet, do it with Ladbrokes, Coral, Betfair, Bet365, SkyBet, Stan James, Betfred or Bwin.
What a response from United, who have flooded forward down both wings since going behind. Kagawa sashays in from the left, and on the left-hand corner of the area, floats a delightful cross onto the head of Rooney, in the middle, ten yards out. Rooney guides a deft header into the bottom right, and United are level! A previously very quiet and pensive Old Trafford explodes into life. The noise is such that you couldn't hear a jet engine.
18 min: And here's some real hurt on Villa, Rooney's knee banging into Guzan's noggin as the two contest a low cross from the right from Young. That was a decent move by United, and a completely accidental collision. Guzan looks like he'll be fine, and Rooney is sportingly apologetic.
16 min: Buttner is booked for a late lunge across Albrighton, who did well to avoid injury by hurdling over the clumsy challenge. Albrighton gets up and whips a free kick into the area, where Clark clanks a header over the bar from eight yards. A real chance to put some real hurt on United.
15 min: I'm probably being a wee bit unfair on both Westwood and De Gea, having seen that again. The keeper perhaps started out a step too far to his left, making it hard to get across, but the free kick was close enough to the left-hand post to be hellishly difficult to deal with.
Westwood takes a couple of calm steps, and whips a wonderful free kick over the wall and into the top left! It's a fine strike, though De Gea got a hand to it, and is of sufficient quality that he might be annoyed not to have done better. That wasn't tight in the corner.
12 min: Rafael is an increasingly clumsy liability. He clatters into the back of Agbonlahor, who is making good down the inside-left channel. That's a free kick, just to the left of the D, in a very dangerous position. And a booking for the full back, who will be treading on eggshells for the best part of 80 minutes. And in serious danger of a red card if his recent display against Liverpool is anything to go by, which it is.
10 min: A free kick for United down the right. It's whipped into the area, where Rooney is lurking near the right-hand post, but the striker can't get anything on the ball. This is a bit of a non-event so far, both in the air and on the ground.
8 min: Rafael clanks into Unidentified Villa Player down the left. Villa load the box and Westwood curls the free kick into the danger zone, but Vidic deals with easily enough.
6 min: Still no shape to this game. "I peered out of my bathroom window and could see the plane over Old Trafford," reports Matthew Cobb. "But it's flying very high and the letters are very small. If you didn't know what it said, you wouldn't know. All seems a bit daft." Aye. You can at least hear the plane, though. As it hovers above the ground, there's a constant drone of waaaaaah-waaaaaah-waaaaaaah, which is appropriate enough.
4 min: Not much happening on the pitch, mind you. Villa have started brightly enough, Benteke trying to get something going down the left with a fancy backheel, but none of his team-mates anticipates the flick. United can't keep hold of the ball at the moment.
2 min: The plane is over Old Trafford, and is met by a wall of boos. A new low for the MBM, this entry. And indeed for modern football. The state of it.
And we're off! Aston Villa set the ball rolling. They'll be kicking towards the Stretford End, in front of which they've won once in the last 31 years. Still, they'll be thinking if West Brom, Newcastle and Everton can cock a snook to the record books ...
David Moyes takes the stage, and receives a very warm reception from the folk inside Old Trafford. It may well be that the majority of the United support, whatever they think about the state of the team at the moment, have decided that there are limits, and enough is, accordingly, enough.
"I think these fans would have better spent their money by putting it into Darren Fletcher's charity," says David Moyes of the planned fly-by protest. He's more mildly amused than irritated, and is dealing with this whole business in a very dignified fashion. He's not the only one questioning how well these particular supporters have used their hard-earned cash. "I can't help but feel that for almost £1,000 the fans probably could have chipped in to get a considerably improved replacement for Fellaini," suggests Owen Parsons, cracking wise because someone had to. The teams will be out soon - kick off hasn't been delayed - and Manchester United will be wearing their famous red and white ...
Relaxing pre-match spa treatment: Ladies and gentlemen, immerse yourselves in some calming jazz guitar, and let a few soothing vibraphone glissandos wash over you.
Manchester United welcome back Nemanja Vidic from suspension: De Gea, Da Silva, Jones, Vidic, Buttner, Fellaini, Fletcher, Kagawa, Mata, Young, Rooney.
Subs: Giggs, Hernandez, Carrick, Nani, Welbeck, Amos, Januzaj.
Aston Villa make two changes from the team that collapsed 4-1 at home to Stoke, with Ciaran Clark and Marc Albrighton replacing Nathan Baker and Karim El Ahmadi: Guzan, Bacuna, Vlaar, Clark, Bertrand, Albrighton, Westwood, Delph, Weimann, Benteke, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Bennett, Steer, Sylla, Tonev, Holt, Lowton, Robinson.
Much as it'd be lovely to avoid the subject altogether, we'll have to deal with it I suppose. A collection of Manchester United fans, suffering like no others have suffered before, having not seen their team lift major silverware for ten months, have decided to rent a plane, ordering it to fly over Old Trafford before kick off today, trailing a banner emblazoned with the slogan WRONG ONE: MOYES OUT. A second plane is rumoured to have been chartered for similar sloganeering purposes. Not sure what that one will be saying, but there's a fair chance it will read STOP BUGGERING AROUND IN THAT PLANE, COME HOME THIS INSTANT YOUNG MAN AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, THEN STRAIGHT TO BED WITHOUT TEA, MUM. That it's come to this at a grand old club.
Mercedes driver matches Jim Clark's British record of 33 poles
Vettel second on grid, Rosberg third and Alonso fourth
Lewis Hamilton won pole position for Sunday's Malaysian Grand Prix in a reprise of his success in Australia two weeks ago.
Hamilton, who was second in his first race at the Sepang International Circuit in 2007, produced a now familiar turnaround. His Mercedes team-mate Nico Rosberg had dominated for most of the weekend and won the third free practice session on Saturday morning.
On the 2,000th anniversary of the emperor's death work will finally start to reopen historic site to visitors
He was Rome's first emperor, the founder of a world-dominating imperial dynasty, and a builder of roads and stunning temples who brought peace to a far-flung empire; a man so powerful the Roman senate named a month after him. Now, on the 2,000th anniversary of the death of the emperor Augustus, the city of Rome is getting ready to honour its favourite son by saving his mausoleum from shocking neglect.
Built in 28BC and as broad as a city block, the cylindrical mausoleum has seen better days after being sacked, bombed and built upon down the centuries. It was used as a bullfighting ring and a concert hall before it was finally abandoned, recently becoming a hangout for prostitutes and a handy toilet for tramps.
Tim Bresnan is on and begins with a short, wide one, which de Kock will be disappointed to have chopped into the ground. That was asking to be hit for four. Ooh there's a big shout here as Amla swivels and looks to hoik it over the keeper. He miscues it and it loops to the 'keeper, the bowler and fielders go up but Buttler isn't interested and Steve Davis says no. Ah it's come off his pad. Amla then lofts one straight back over the head of Bresnan for his fourth boundary, in addition to those two sixes.
Dernbach also gets another over, which won't please Gary Naylor.
@DanLucas86 There's plenty to have a pop at with Jade, but powerplay hard ball overs are really tough for seamers. Spinners should bowl them
@DanLucas86 How do we get the message across that Jade Dernbach is not an international cricketer, can someone hire a plane?
Moeen Ali gets a second over, unlike Thursday night's game. De Kock takes a single into the offside to get off the mark before Amla cuts another four from a full-ish ball through backward point. Another lovely shot from Amla, who was struggling for form coming into this. He comes down the track looking to whip it to cover, misses and Buttler drops the ball, missing the stumping! I reckon there might have been a nick there too. The next ball is, almost inevitably, lofted over mid-wicket for six.
Right the last two balls of the over coming up and England have stuck a man on the deep backward square leg boundary. Two dot balls and that's the second over finally done.
The hessian was dragged around the grass to remove the dew, which seems a little unfair as it's unlikely to happen ten overs into England's innings is it?
And it's on the bloody DJ's booth. Bon Jovi's 'It's My Life' and 'Gangnam Style'. It's a wonder the guy hasn't been strung up from the stadium rafters by this crowd for that.
A second lighting tower is out now. This might take a wee bit longer to get going again.
This has happened before in this tournament, of course.
Any Sparky fancy a quick trip to Chittagong.same tower as last time
@DanLucas86 and Dernbach brings Amla back in form.
We should be back soon.
England also have a slip in place for Amla facing Jade Dernbach. Make of that what you will. Amla does as he will to Dernbach's second ball, which is back of a length on leg stump and picked up beautifully for a Greenidge-esque six over square leg. You can't blame the tattooed one for that much; his line was poor but it was a wonderful shot. Jade doesn't learn though and a similar ball is flicked away uppishly through the same reason, over the fielder for four more. Dernbach is straying further and further towards the leg side, sending a wide down that side of the stumps, before the lights go out and the stadium is plunged into darkness...
As has been the way in each of England's matches so far, Moeen Ali will open the bowling. There's a bit of turn and South Africa get off the mark with a wide, before Amla drives the first boundary of the day through cover. A single worked to mid-on and England have a slip in for de Kock with the ball set to turn away from the left hander. Just six from the over.
"Hi Dan," writes John Starbuck. "I too am feeling smug, having just ingested some home-made bread with mozzarella and two cheeses (Wensleydale and Double Gloucester) plus fresh figs and a bottle of Pecorino. Whether I shall feel the same after the match is altogether a different matter but, genuinely, you just can't call this one in advance."
Both nice and short, and thus over and done with quickly. Here come the openers De Kock and Amla.
Courtesy of Antoinette Muller:
Stoked to see Parney play, but considering England's ineptitude against spin... Wonder why not try Phangiso...
England are unchanged, whereas South Africa make a couple of changes.
England: MJ Lumb, AD Hales, MM Ali, EJG Morgan, JC Buttler, RS Bopara, TT Bresnan, CJ Jordan, SCJ Broad*, JC Tredwell, JW Dernbach
Stuart Broad has won the toss, which is a huge advantage. Unsurprisingly, he'll have a bowl first. Team news to follow shortly.
England will be out if they lose today, no matter what.
I barely recognised a tanned Nick Knight out in Chittagong. He looks like a slightly lost, bemused version of David Hasselhoff with that bouffant.
It's rather strange to see Ricky Ponting offering up the expert analysis, isn't it? I'm not for one second questioning his knowledge, what with his number of international runs exceeding mine by some 27,000+, but he was never really into T20 was he, and only bothered playing 48 matches overall in his entire career. Somehow I thought he'd be above all this strong/weak zones, colour-coded sixes and spurious stats nonsense the host broadcasters are sluicing through our screens.
Indeed on this very same desk, those with a preference for Manchester United (ha!), Aston Villa, football or Scott Murray will be happy to know that he's on MBM duty for United v Villa.
Brendon McCullum hit a quick half century in the chase because of course he did. By my (admittedly dodgy) maths, this means that England absolutely have to beat South Africa or they're relying on other results.
Afternoon folks. Whisper it very, very, very quietly, but England have been, well, alright so far, haven't they? I mean the bowling and the fielding have been as poor as we've come to expect since the start of the (hopefully now passed) winter, and Ashley Giles' selection policy remains questionable, but with the bat they've done rather decently.
Stuart Broad's side began with a competitive total of 172-6 against the highly-rated New Zealanders and, although they may not have defended it with Brendon McCullum in the mood, they were a touch unlucky to lose it on Duckworth-Lewis and certainly little blame can be afforded the batsmen.
Rescuers observe moment of silence as relatives brace for rising death toll and teams struggle with debris
Families and friends of the 90 people still missing in the Washington state mudslide are bracing for a rise in the official death toll, as searchers entered another day of slogging through mud-caked debris.
On Saturday, crews searching for victims in the tangled debris field halted their work for a moment of silence to honour those lost. Governor Jay Inslee had asked people across Washington to pause at 10.37am on Saturday. The huge slide that destroyed a neighbourhood in Oso, 55 miles northeast of Seattle, struck at that time on 22 March. It was one of the deadliest landslides ever in the United States.
Chua is facing three murder charges, 22 counts of attempting to cause grievous bodily harm and eight other charges
A nurse has appeared in court accused of the murder of three people.
Victorino Chua, 48, spoke only to confirm his name, age and address for the three-minute hearing at Manchester magistrates court.
'One of the truck drivers who didn't know we were up there turned on the machine. I fell on top of it and it sucked me down'
I had seen the porcupine wood chipper shred some big logs in the 10 months I'd been working at Swanson Bark Wood Products in Longview, Washington. It's a powerful machine, but I'd never really worried about an accident before. I like industrial work doing something physical helps pass the time. Plus, I needed a job.
In this part of the States it gets really cold in January, and this year was no different. I was working nights, so was wearing a couple of T-shirts, a sweatshirt, a hard hat, safety glasses, gloves, steel-capped boots, jeans and thermals.
The demise of this land grab-cum-marketing initiative shows how the fringe defies attempts to control and corporatise it
It's a rare thing these days to hear of corporate interests being thwarted, so let's enjoy it while we can. The so-called Edinburgh Comedy festival is no more. Not, I hasten to add, the Edinburgh festival fringe the most glorious, un-curated, profuse, all-life-is-here arts beanfeast in the world which is still going strong. No, the ECF was a land grab-cum-marketing initiative undertaken in 2008 by the supposed "big four" comedy venues on the fringe, whereby they launched their own festival-within-a-festival brand, released their own brochure and relegated the hundreds of comic acts elsewhere on the fringe to second-class status, implying (even assuming anyone noticed them any more) that they weren't really in the "comedy festival" at all.
'As a single mum, there's no one around to engineer the pantomime of your children giving a damn about Mother's Day. I feel this is ample justification for a spot of self-gifting'
The thing about being a single mum is that when your children are little, there's no one around to engineer the pantomime of Mother's Day by buying a present or helping them make a card. I feel this is ample justification for a spot of self-gifting. I often choose hand cream, since most of the year is spent grabbing some generic supermarket moisturiser that lives next to the J-cloths and Fairy Liquid.
Jointly sharing the top of this year's list are Roger & Gallet Bois D'Orange (£6), for my handbag, and Aromatherapy Associates Renewing Rose (£23), for next to my bed. Both smell delicious, cosset dry skin and even out ruddiness. Also containing rose are Aerin's easy-peasy, good-on-every-woman Rose Balm Lipsticks (£25). Somewhere between balm and classic lipstick, they're rich in moisture, subtle in colour and the packaging is impressive.
It takes just five packets of seed to grow a season's worth of greens. Alys Fowler launches our summer salad challenge.
In pictures - how to sow salad seeds
I am quietly confident that everyone can grow great salads. There's a risk your radishes may go woody; the lettuce could taste bitter or, worse, a slug may dine first; but if you fail at pea shoots and rocket, I suggest someone takes your pulse. With a bit of space in pots or beds, and a few packets of seed lettuce, radish, rocket and peas, say for the price of a couple of bagged supermarket salads, you have seeds enough for the whole season. So ditch the bag of slime in the bottom of the fridge and try a summer of home-grown salads instead.
Anyone with a window can grow pea shoots. If you can lay claim to some outside space, you can make a success of rocket, too (if it bolts, don't worry: the flowers taste lovely). Once you have mastered these two, the world is your salad bowl, so to speak.
In August 2013, a helicopter crashed in the North Sea killing four oil rig workers. It was the fifth serious incident involving Super Pumas in as many years. Survivors talk about what happened
One day last August, Paul Sharp woke in his room on the Borgsten Dolphin oil rig. He had been on the night shift, then slept for five or six hours, so it was getting on for midday. He showered, dressed, then, after lunch in the canteen, packed his bags and took them up to heli admin to be weighed. Sharp has been a scaffolder on the rigs for nearly 23 years, working two-week blocks of 12-hour shifts, often in brutal weather: horizontal snow, screaming wind, icicles as tall as a room and waves that lapped at 75ft-high platforms. He commutes from East Hull, where he was born and now lives with his wife and daughter in a neat, low house facing a church and a main road.
The flight was running late, so Sharp went back downstairs to watch TV. When the call finally came, he returned to heli admin, a small room for a large and diverse bunch: the crew, plus 18 passengers, 17 men and one woman, working as safety officers, electricians, caterers, welders; old hands like Sharp, and those for whom the whole thing was still new, such as James Nugent, who had also just come off a night shift and was on only his second trip offshore. Nugent is a tall, well-built South African, weathered and emotionally open. After a career in the film industry and running a B&B, he became a rope access instructor, specialising in work at heights or in confined spaces. We talk in a restaurant perched on a point of land just outside Newquay in Cornwall, where he lives.
Shake up your bakes by introducing flavourings normally used in savoury dishes shunning the cinnamon can make for an invigoratingly radical take on classic biscuits and cakes
Some spices are at the heart of baking: cinnamon can transform the fortunes of even the saddest apple pie, while nutmeg turns plain custard into gold. Cloves are the taste of Christmas. My favourite is just a couple of cardamom pods, split and ground, to brighten banana bread. It's easy to slip into a spice rut with such a delicious basic repertoire, but we miss out when we steadfastly stick to just these spices.
When we rigidly categorise "sweet" and "savoury" spices, our baking suffers. Black pepper, coriander, chilli, caraway, celery seed, and even mustard or juniper berries all typically accessories to savoury dishes can be used in sweet baking with exciting results. It's tempting to play to the autumnal notes of a carrot cake with a predictable spoonful of cinnamon, but why not ring the changes with a dose of caraway seeds instead? Likewise, the heat of a ginger biscuit can be bolstered by a good grinding of pepper. Carefully balanced, these spices will give a familiar cake, bun or biscuit a new lease of life.
The quirky show Capilotractées at the Roundhouse's CircusFest brings back an old hair-raising artform with playful and sometimes painful results
On the scale of physical pain, there are certain things that inflict a disproportionate ouch: paper cuts, a prang to the funny bone, hair pulling. But if a tug on tangled tresses is bad enough, now imagine what it would feel like to suspend your whole bodyweight from your ponytail. That's not a torture technique, that's entertainment. The hair hang is an old circus act, currently being revived by two Finnish artists, Sanja Kosonen and Elice Abonce Muhonen, in their show Capilotractées, coming to London as part of the Roundhouse's CircusFest.
Kosonen and Muhonen are part of a wave of contemporary circus artists reviving old circus tricks with knowing modernity (another Finnish act, Agit-Cirk, do their own take on the cannonball-to-the-stomach strongman routine). The hair hang is thought to have originated in China and involves tying up the hair with a metal ring and then dangling from it, preferably performing a few other feats juggling, acrobatics, whatever you've got in your armoury while you're up there.