• What do we mean by silence?
• Why and to what extent do we need it?
• To what extent do we need a sanctuary in, or from, cyberspace, and how might we achieve this?

in the sanctuary

mutely cheering itself on

the self performs a striptease

and gets pregnant with ideas

In the context of learning, creating materials, writing assignments and alike, silence for me often involves an act of courage as this is the moment when I am left on my own with the blank screen or page of paper and my thoughts (and sometimes there aren’t any) and there is no escape from not-thinking. I switch on my internal ears and eyes to listen and watch attentively for SOMETHING. Sometimes the Something stirs in my mind straight away, sometimes I need to wait. But when it comes, it engages me deeply, draws me in so much that it keeps me awake, seeps into my dreams and keeps simmering at the back of my mind even when going through the motions of the day. It leaves me exhausted but empowered.

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This blog has provided me with a number of moments like the one above (something I could add to my arguments against Dreyfus' crticism of distance learning). When I first started, I thought it would be a journey from A to B, through a fairly familiar landscape of e-learning. It turned out to be a wander, by no means an aimless wander! I have gone to familiar quarters only to discover unknown cul-de-sacs, sometimes real gems. This makes me want more so I’d like to carry on – Again my life motto proves right perambulation stimulates the imagination (William Boyd)!

I thought of writing a summary at this point of the blog, just minutes before submission, but I’ve given up on this idea. Instead I’d like to share a personal impression. While doing the course, I often struck me how I go in circles around ideas, coming closer, picking up a detail, going away and coming back to understand better. Sometimes it felt I was unknowingly jumping ahead – I migrated to the wiki to discover weeks 8 and 9 were all wiki-based (I wasn’t checking the course schedule in advance), I mentioned Community of Inquiry on my wiki and later we read the whole chapter on it from Garrison's book on e-learning. It baffled me – this penetration of ideas and thoughts, strange hunches. It felt a bit magical at times, uncanny, to use my favourite now word. Another one is rhizome and now time for my little story:

My first posting compared blogging to growing a flower. I didn’t know at that moment that it would be an orchid (which often develops rhizomatic systems and which Deleuze and Guattari refer to in their work 'A Thousand Plateaus' mentioned both in Bayne’s and Cousin’s papers). Now this is a very strange orchid because here on the blog and the wiki I was tending to its tubers and rhizomes but the pretty petals were already formed a year earlier – it’s like growing a plant backwards! Strangely enough, I put a little video together in February 2010 – embedded below – which, could it be an uncanny coincidence?, somehow subsumes my learning here?

The video shows various pictures of orchids from Glasgow Botanic Gardens mashed up with an audio consisting of layers of narration which penetrate each other, merge and diverge, creating a strange-sounding song (uncanny blurring of boundaries, penetration of the striated and the smooth, the dynamic relationship between the techs and pedagogy, all being the landmarks of my e-learning). The narration is in Polish but basically it’s a short fragment from Wikipedia (a mother of all hyper-texts, wikis being another area I saw in a different light) about classification of orchids. And I remember moments of concentrated contemplation and creativity when working on the audio, moments of silence and sanctuary!

Thank you!

First, after the frenetic ten weeks of an intense course, it brought a perfect closure, tying up all the dangling loose ends and allowing one to distance oneself from the experience by encouraging to take ‘time off’ in order to reflect on the ‘what’, ‘how’ and ‘why’ of e-learning (and learning in general), digital literacies and presence. For me, the texts had a particularly soothing effect on how I perceive my participation in the course and in online spaces. As documented here on the blog, I have focused solely on my individual learning process, without trying much to engage with others, which I had very mixed feelings about, ranging from anxiety and guilt through occasional indifference to enjoyment I derived from being undistracted and independent . Although I’ve perhaps taken my solitary habits too far, the texts have helped me understand that one does not always have to be in the centre of things, that sometimes it’s good to take a step aside, that solitude is justifiable and beneficial as it might provide time for reflection, deep thinking and thus unleash creativity. I think, without sounding too pompous, I can confirm that within the limits of my mental faculties, I have experienced little epiphanies and sparks of ‘divine inspiration’ while engaging with the course content, leading to a deeper understanding of the discussed phenomena. I’m especially thankful for the fact that I could learn about threshold concepts and liminal spaces, something that Land (2006) links to in his paper about dromology. I’ve got a feeling that the elements of that massive jigsaw puzzle I faced back in January are starting to fall into places – it’s rewarding to discover their interrelatedness, a telling sign of deeper thinking (?) With all respect to my colleagues and tutors as I am sure that the discussion forums are teeming with great ideas and links to excellent resources, sometimes I think I haven’t lost much. I might have less but sometimes ‘less’ is better. Maybe by sticking to my own comfort zone, I have prevented myself from getting bogged down in making sense of frenetic buzziness of discussion forums and let myself hear my own voice speaking!

At the same time, I have noticed a slowly emerging trend on the ELT blogs – a couple of renowned practitioners wrote about the increasing dilution of high-context relationships in their professional lives  due to the profusion of cybercommunications with a number of ‘followers’ and other ‘friends’ on social networking sites and expressed a strong longing for fewer but deeper interactions. One ‘guru’ has questioned the value of personal social networks, taking it so seriously that he decided to commit twittercide and deactivated his account. Although it is generally considered a great loss among ELT community members, I can understand his reasons, even more now when I have read about the need for silence and sanctuary. Strangely enough, he is the same person I mentioned in the previous posting about the uncanny education (toward the end in the post scriptum) on the occasion of discussing two approaches in m-learning. The apps approach could be likened to the routinised ‘ratio’ thinking stipulated by (Levi 2007b). There is nothing bad about such quizzes and alike because they let language learners familiarise themselves with vocabulary and grammar chunks probably quite effectively but other approaches are needed too which will allow them to use the language creatively and expressively. And as you have aptly summarised it, Clara, we should be  speakers of thoughts, not mimics of noise!

What really struck me in Levy’s paper is the origin of the word ‘school’ – it derives from ‘leisure’ (2007b: 247), which itself has a very interesting etymology in Greek philosophy! I found these two facts very revealing. And since universities - but I think this applies to other educational institutions too - are regarded as our culture’s think tanks, on the one hand, and ‘descendants of Plato’s academic’, on the other hand, contemplation and reflection should be placed in the foreground (Levy, 2007b:247). Land (2006:6) argues that these could facilitate better integration and thus transformative learning, in the process of which threshold concepts can be acquired, threshold concepts being important gateways providing insights into links between and within theories. The necessary processes of analysis and synthesis often resulting in problem formulation and solution as well as fostering creativity and criticality in more general terms can be instigated and managed in slow motion of liminal spaces more effectively than in ‘concertina-like time compression’. Since life seems to have accelerated rapidly in recent years and so creativity is likely to be obstructed, Levy (2007b: 248) claims that unfortunately education often pursues these societal trends and focuses on preparing ‘efficient multi-taskers in a world of total work’ (247). This can be seen in business-like obsession with outcomes and objectives (CEFR), summative assessment being the driving force of teaching and learning (high-stakes English preparation courses I teach on) and students’ attitudes – interestingly enough two weeks ago in a class of 16 Chinese pre-masters students, to my question why they decided to do a uni course, 5 admitted it should increase their future job prospects, 4 wanted to get a degree (their hope being that a good job would follow), which shows their strategic and business-like thinking. Of course, it can be questioned whether such strategic approaches are a result or a reason for the education to often so oriented towards outcomes. Just to finish the digression on a more positive note, two of my students admitted honestly that they want to do it for the sake of life experience, which is a ray of hope! Land (2006) introduces an interesting concept of ‘virtual stacking’ in which ‘every vacant spot is filled’, debilitating our higher thinking skills of spotting intra- and interdisciplinary relations. Our knowledge becomes fragmented into bitesizes of often meaningless noise. Digesting so cooked ‘knowledge’ presents a challenge in terms of time. Suffering from its permanent shortage, we fall victim to Eriksen’s temporal principle which says that within unchanged time limits, attention span decreases as the amount of information grows. A vicious circle is thus created. Slowing down to contemplate paradoxically seems to be a solution for businesses, universities, organisations and individuals (Levi, 2007 and Loy, 2007).

What is alarming about the situation is that digital technologies often get blamed for such a state of affairs. As clarified in my prezi presentation, it’s not the Internet itself. Time compression seems to be strangely pre-programmed in the history of the human kind, particularly the contemporary one. Land (2006:7) points out how digital education often gets limited to stacking (within VLEs?) instead of being used for internal integration. This is probably due to reasons Cousin mentions in her 2005 paper, e.g. the toolbox view of technology. Instead, as Garrison and Anderson (2003:122) suggest, e-learning represents a new ‘learning ecology’, which for has a strong flavour of wetlands from the prezi. These and other smooth spaces might help us reconceptualise teaching and learning by establishing integrative practices (e.g. Landow’s hypertext, Ulmer’s electracy) and contemplative practices whereby individuals might focus ‘within and beyond the human’ (Braman, 2007; see also your comment on the uncanny).

It would have been so nice if I had managed to break my silence habit in that chat but I didn't. Should I look at that in terms of failure? Should I look for excuses like potentially malfunctioning microphone (I wasn't sure if it was working properly - there seemed to be a lot of background noise) - I could have asked for assistance, I could have used the text chat. It's tiring to think of what I could have done and equally tiring to promise myself what I will do next time. I felt much calmer though as I could smile and show I was listening, something I wasn't able to convey in the previous real-time sessions. Nevertheless I could not relate to what people were saying about contributing to the discussion boards, connecting with others on a more personal level, or the possibility to lurk in audio chats but not a video chat (ha! I managed that!). I think the issue has somehow exhausted itself. I've probably overanalysed it and not much has come out of it, at least not in practical terms. 

Would I qualify to be described as one of the stories from the dark side of e-learning discussed in the first week of the module (some of them commented here - what lofty and idealised opinions I had then!)?

Anyway, it was nice seeing people - both tutors and other students and hear their voices. First, I thought that this sort of contact was introduced too late. Perhaps it would have been easier to relate to people seeing them face-to-face instead of being freaked out by the little pencils writing away at a maddening pace in the first skype chat. However, I can see why it has been structured this way. The gradual introduction of identity (from words only via graphics and audio to video: text > text plus visual avie > audio plus visual avie > audio, video, real person) makes perfect sense to me, especially when you think of how the content was introduced in a sort of reverse order from more hectic hectic, group oriented activities like virtual worlds and wikis to calming down, reflecting on the need to pace yourself, the importance of silence, withdrawal. Nice closure!

It was interesting how you averted your eyes and doodled to concentrate better on what was being said, how Rory was gesticulating, shifting in the chair, moving away from the screen and then closer to it, Jacki sitting so straight, Chantelle looking to sides to glance at the papers, or maybe gather her thoughts. I found it interesting how I was switching from one looking mode (looking at me, especially when I was scratching my nose;), looking at another person (which could have looked like I am looking away - but that was a kind of eye contact I was trying to maintain) and looking at the camera so that others could see my eyes - I think Dreyfus is trying to explain this paradox that it's never possible to replicate the eye contact you have face-to-face.