This is a private rant of a helpless and confused person and also a follow-up on your mention, Clara, of Goffman’s dramaturgical theory of performance and self-presentation when talking about the significant change I would have to undergo to transcend the barriers erected by my getting stuck in my little and cosy sanctuary (discussed in the adobe video chat). In order to explain social interaction, Goffman uses a metaphor of a theatre where the performance is being put up on the front stage. This is where we act. It’s an interactive play though because the audience is being watched by the actor in exactly the same way as he or she is scrutinised by the viewers. In order for the act to be coherent, conventions have to be agreed on and complied with by both the watchers and the actor and in case of a blunder mutual assistance is given to save the face. The willingness to assist, I imagine, is in proportion to the level of intimacy between the performer and the audience. That possibly grows with the degree of success in meeting each other’s needs. The actor sometimes steps back, from the front stage to the more familiar back stage (where other members of the troupe are waiting for their turn) where he or she can take off their mask as they are now within their group. There might be a degree of playing at being here but less than on the front stage. It’s the offstage when the actor is being truly him/herself as this is probably their sanctuary.
Goffman claims that the person’s identity cannot be clearly mapped out and is quite arbitrary in nature; neither is it stable or independent , rather it is constantly moulded and reshaped in the process of interaction. It looks like a change can only be propelled when performing on the front stage, possibly also backstage, that is social spaces. Perhaps but I would say that the time offstage is equally important and this is where the change could be initiated or consolidated. Otherwise there is danger that, as actors, we might fall guilty of being unfaithful to ourselves as we lose ourselves in the pursuit to satisfy others’ needs. Performing all the time might delude us into believing we are acting well when in fact our acting has been squeezed into the ruts of generalisability and standardisation.
So, the big question for me is whether I really need a community to undergo a change and how loose or close the relationship would have to be? You see I’m quite ok on my own, having conversations with myself in the sanctuary of my blog (perhaps having one or two confidantes would do sufficiently, three makes a community, doesn’t it?). But there is so much talk about collaboration and social constructivism, so much buzz and so much ‘wow’-ing, especially now when Web 2.0 has opened up new social spaces, and I am aware of that, have experienced some of that in the past but do I really need others, and so many of them, to reconfigure myself? Increasingly nowadays I want to switch off, step out of that stream of collective consciousness and just be on my own (more about the importance of time off in another post) but ...
So, I’m sitting on that threshold like on the fence and cannot decide because the online theatre is even worse than the real one. And it’s not only because it has intensified the ‘buzziness’ and ‘busyness’ but also because the boundaries between the front stage, back stage and strangely also offstage in an uncanny fashion get blurred and so do our identities. Our self/selfs can get involved in the interaction with the audience (other self/selves), even in parts of the offstage, which would mean almost constantly one of our online selfs preparing a role and mastering a set of given conventions.
Jumping onto the front stage, into the community means drowning in a constant flow of information and deafening twitter – yes, I know, I am being unfair but this is on purpose – on top of that there are pre-agreed conventions, I’ll have to conform to, act according to and also meet others’ needs , prep to do so, all this being prerequisites for the coherence of the group (Goffman), also partake in others’ angsts ... Are communities, all the twitters and facebooks and alike the only way to go? They open up but they stifle too by demanding that you act as they play. Isn’t it better to leap to the other side, and be free to fly or wander and discover ... Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail (Ralph Waldo)? But if I leap to the other side, will I get transformed? Is there enough drive in me to accomplish the change? Do I trust myself enough as a learner and human to go off and break a trail? Or will I just wander aimlessly without direction?
The question remains unanswered* and the show must go on ...
*As noted in the video chat, it’s a bit of everything, a balance of both individual and social learning - a very easy answer but a difficult thing to do if somebody has strong leanings to one side! And in any case you have to jump ...
PS I googled quotes about balance and this is what Uncle Google spat out:
When a man asks himself what is meant by action he proves that he isn't a man of action. Action is a lack of balance. In order to act you must be somewhat insane. A reasonably sensible man is satisfied with thinking (James A. Baldwin).
Quite interesting ...
Keywords: aloneness, emotions online, IDEL11, online relationships










